CSI's Top 10 Instructions to Criminals

10. Don't cheat rich, powerful casino bosses (especially if one is a CSI's dad).

9. If you think you haven't left evidence behind, think again.

8. Bugs are CSI's friends.

7. If you kill your wife and hide her in the boiler of your basement in a city in the desert, you will probably be found out.

6. No, we aren't cops, we just act like we are.

5. Rental cars are never cleaned properly—don't count on them.

4. Never dress up in a fur costume on a country road at night.

3. Stealing dead bodies is a crime, even if it's the dead body of your best friend.

2. For the victims: Don't strike up e-mail conversations with criminals while they are in jail and then agree to meet them in dark, dangerous locations even if they are so very, very nice.

1. Never spit on a CSI.

CATEGORY: TV

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